complicated
by aliefish
Summary: my first complete 'Phan'-fic its just about how it all begins and how life is complicated for them. it features Chris,Pj,Carrie and Alex. please let me know what you think and if i should write more.
1. Chapter 1

Dan woke to hear a piercing scream and he ran into Phil's room holding a guitar hero controller like a weapon.

"oh sorry"

Phil mumbled looking at Dan as thou he had just hit him round the face

"Phil what the hell was that"

Dan breathlessly shouted

"um I just..."

Phil burst into tears

"what's wrong?"

Dan jumped onto the bed next to his friend and rubbed his back

"Phil what's going on, did you see something?"

"it was... it was so real" Phil choking on tears as he spoke

"aunt you a bit old for nightmares Phil?"

"Dan you... you wear in a train accident but... but... it was so real?"

Phil looked so confused and Dan couldn't bare to see his friend in such a mess.

"Phil im next to you im fine, Phil d'you want me to get you some milk"

Phil nodded and Dan went of to get Phil some milk. He didn't know why but the tears just kept streaming and streaming. Dan must have been with Phil for 2 hours just comforting him. Light began to poor in through the windows it must have been 6 o'clock by now and Dan was drifting of next to Phil. Phil was already asleep but Dan couldn't leave him so he just fell down with his arm around his friend. In the morning Phil was still acting odd but Dan had to go for a weekend with his mum and dad.

"no Dan trust me just don't go please I cant... just don't go ok"

Phil begged in the morning when Dan was packing.

"Phil I cant just not go ok",

"but please... my dream it was so real?"

"phil it was just a dream get over it, any way what were you dreaming about when you went back to sleep you wear smiling?"

Dan looked at Phil then he stood up and swung his back pack over one shoulder. Phil just looked into Dan's eyes as thou arguing with himself, a frown crossed his face and he stepped closer to Dan.

"why are you frowning?"

Dan whispered brushing Phils hair out of his face casually and smiling at him, Phil still looked intently at Dan then he just grabbed Dans shirt coaler and pulled him into a kiss. Dan struggled in shock but he felt the intensity of Phils lips like he needed him, so he relaxed a little and almost kissed him back but then in a flash it was over and Phil was crying again.

"im so sorr...i don't know what just... Dan im sorr..."

Dan interrupted Phil

"Phil what's going on your not yourself?"

"im sorry Dan I just im so worried",

Dan started to think about the kiss... there was electricity in the atmosphere then he tentatively leaned closer to Phil there lips so gently touched together then Dan's howl body felt week and he felt dizzy they could have been stood there for years it seemed so short but yet so endless.

Dan finely pulled away then blushed

"um bye Phil"

Phil just stood and stared at the wall.

Phil sat dizzy watching tv, the news came on and a man with a dry voice and a pale face started talking about a drought in Africa, then an image of an upturned train came on screen. Phil was about to change the channel thinking all news is always depressing when he realised the train was Dans... life went in slow speed "there wear no survivors" the news reader flatly read out. Phil fell to the floor and screamed out loud "no no no no no" tears strewed down Phils face and his hole world fell to pieces. He fell in a heap on the floor just crying and chocking.

The door screeched open but Phil didn't even notice

"hello"

Dan's voice called into the room then he rushed to Phil's side throwing a bag at the wall spilling milk all over the floor. "Phil,Phil are you ok?"

Phil looked up and new tears sprung into his eyes, tears of disbelief.

"i didn't go, I couldn't leave you in the state you wear in … and well glad I didn't go, what on earth happened?"

Phil's voice came out croaky and barley recordable but Dan herd him

"i... the train crashed no one lived … my dream and I thought you were gone?"

"no ..."

Dan jumped up and went on his laptop to see the news

"omg"

he clamped his hand over his mouth.

" I ...I … those poor people"

" I thought you were gone Dan ?"

Phil stood up and rested his hand on Dans shoulder

"i... I love you"

Dan didn't know how he felt but today had been so much to take in he could do with having someone love him. He went with Phil and they lay down holding each other tightly. They couldn't leave each others sides after then.

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

Dan woke up with his arms tightly wound around Phil. He crept out trying not to wake his friend. The door swung open and he tiptoed down the stairs, the events of the day before flooding into his memory. Dan quietly ate some pancakes and thought about what on earth he was going to do? Was he _with _Phil now? Dose Phil _love_ him? Dan herd the familiar nose of Phil getting out of bed and stretching. Phil thought about all that had gone on the day before … he wanted desperately to go down stairs and feel the same love he had felt yesterday but he worried that Dan only acted that way on account of Phil's tears. Eventually Phil decided he would just go down stairs and act completely normal.

"morning Dan"

"hey Phil"

Dan and Phil both looked away awkwardly at the floor.

"just made pancakes, you want some?"

Phil looked at Dan wondering if he should make some Delia Smith joke but it all seemed so long ago. Dan interrupted Phils train of thought,

"hey we should make a video today?"

Phil nodded and then left the kitchen and fell back into the sofa feeling deflated.

"hey Phil um.. I just I thought... I mean I don't want to … this is weird."

Dan awkwardly announced as he walked into the living room and sat next to Phil.

"yeh it is ... d'you want to go back to the way things were before?"

Dan nodded then looked away awkwardly. Phil's heart ached to tell Dan that he didn't want to go back to how they used to be. Phil and Dan sat in silence for 10 minuets before finally Phil broke the silence.

"NO"

"um ... Phil what are you talking about?"

Dan questioned looking at Phil with his eyebrows raised

"I don't ... I don't want to go back to how it used to be. I love you Dan you know that"

"I … I um … I hoped that you would say that"

"s … so you … I mean d'you like m … me?"

Phil stuttered in surprise at Dan's reply.

"i don't know"

Dan answered after about ten minuets

"Phil's chest sank again",

"but I do know that I cant go back to the way it was … and well I don't know if I love you because I don't know what this feeling is?",

Phil just smiled at Dan, and that was enough, they grabbed each others hands and set up the camera.

They both decided not to tell you tube just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil woke up so blissfully happy, Phil opened his eyes and sore Dan's wide and brown staring back into his, he was just smiling a little witch meant his cute dimples wear showing Phil instinctively put his hand up and stroked the perfect face before him. Dan recoiled and this disturbed Phil piece so he scrunched up is eyebrows. Dan giggled then said quietly,

"Phil your flipping freezing, come hear".

Dan held Phil tight as Phil snuggled himself into the heat of Dan,

"c'mon its like..."

Phil checked his watch witch lay on Dan's bed side table then continued,

"12 o'clock we should get up"

Dan grunted and turned his face round so he could berry it in his pillow, Phil laughed and pulled him up, he leaned in and kissed his nose then pulled him out of bed and led him to the bathroom.

"brush your teeth Dan"

Dan walked swinging his arms like a grumpy teenager and Phil followed, after brushing there teeth they went down satires but nether of them could be bothered to make food so they went out to the coffee shop. Phil sat with Dan laughing about how the internet would react if they told them, and witch ones of there friends would be most shocked. Three girls walked over and sat down, Dan got this a lot and so he just rolled his eyes at Phil, but Phil was to polite to leave so he sat innocently talking about the weather and the such like with the three girls whose names were Lizzy, Ruby and Alex.

"so what part of London are you girls from?"

Phil asked smiling politely, Dan looked at Phil at subtly gestured that they should leave but Phil just smiled at him and whispered

"come on Dan be nice"

the girls started to flirt with them both and Phil could see that Dan was getting annoyed so he reached over and held Dans hand but the girls didn't seem to notice however it gave Phil some comfort. Ruby batted her eyelids at Phil and even thou he didn't like her he felt happy that someone noticed him and his cheeks flushed bright pink, this made Ruby giggle and that just made Phil blush more. Dan noticed and dropped Phil's hand, but Phil didn't notice he was to busy talking to Ruby and they just stayed discussing this and that until Phil herd the bell on the door clank and the door slam shut, he sore Dan storming of through the glass front of the coffee shop.

"urm... I better go"

Phil mumbled

"no stay, your friend probably just went of to get something"

Ruby said batting her eyelashes at Phil.

"he is not my friend he is my boyfriend"

Phil said without even thinking then he blushed and clamped his hand over his mouth. The three girls looked at him and Ruby gave a sort of sad smile and walked away. Phil felt a little guilty but not as guilty as he felt for what he just did to Dan. Phil ran all the way back to the apartment to fined Dan sat on his bed on his laptop trying to pretend he wasn't crying.

"Dan I'm so sorry... I guess I'm just not used to that kind of attention",

"but … urg Phill you don't get it, you were the one that was in love with me and I geuss that was just a faze, was it? Because I love you Phil and I should have known you weren't for real",

"Dan swear I'm for real I love you, but Ruby was nice I didn't want to upset her and I'm just not used to people who like me, not because I'm AmazingPhil but because I'm Phil",

"so you didn't like her at all?"

Dan questioned looking at Phil with one eyebrow raised.

"she seemed nice... but no Dan always you, always, always you"

Dan kept his sceptical look but Phil walked over and sat on the bed next to Dan, he leaned in and wiped the tears from Dan cheeks, he gently pressed his lips to Dan's cheek, but Dan pushed him away

"i need some space just give me a little wile ok"

"ok Dan"

Phil said briskly kissing him on the cheek again and going down satires to start making some lunch for them.

AFTER LUNCH

Phil and Dan curled up on the sofa watching to Phil's horror

"HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL",

"yeh its GRATE!"

"NO Dan you gotta be kidding me we are not watching High school musical"

"ok … fiiiine"

Dan laughed and Phil looked at his younger friend disapprovingly but it was impossible to stay like that when Dan's massive smile was across his face giving him dimples and making his eyes light up.


	4. Chapter 4

**So I havnt done the hole POV thing yet so yeah hear goes, let me know what you think and also PLEASE let me know what you think I should do with my story next... ? I kinda want to do a competition sort of thing I don't know? So if you do read and you have an idea let me know and I will do one or all of those ideas! check out my tumblr if you like my writing and want to know more about me xxx **

**Phil's POV**:

I sat in the café with Chris, Dan and PJ, It was so grate to be with my closest friends, it felt like I hadn't seen them in forever, but for some reason my mined kept wondering..._i wonder how I should tell them? can I tell them? should I wait for Dan to tell them? will they mined? How are the fans going to react? Even worse how are the 'phans' going to react?_

"Phil"

"Phiiiil..."

I came harshly back into reality seeing all of my friend waving and clicking in my face, apparently I didn't blink aether judging by the dry pain in my eyes. I blinked and snapped my head up, they all looked at me confused. _ guess its better to get it out now? But … I cant tell them about Dan … no just me then..._

"_I'm_ gay"

damn I hadn't meant for it to come out so quickly or … expressionlessly but … well I had to tell them so... the others raised there eyebrows and awkwardly giggled not sure if I was joking or not.

"sorry, I … well I ... I had to tell you and well … well I just sort of slipped it out",

I mumbled wishing I could take every word back.

"hey Phil don't worry, I mean its not as if we think differently about you "

Chris said looking at me reassuringly, but oddly even thou Dan already knew it was him I was worried about?

**Dan's POV:**

Phil sat dead still he wasn't even blinking, he was starting to creep me out. I waved my hand in Phil's face but he didn't move.

"Phil"

"Phiiiil..."

I said trying to bring him back into this world. He blinked then snapped his head up. I was beginning to think he was going mad. I worrier about him sitting so still he still hadn't said anything, I thought back to phone conversations I had herd him having in the background as I was editing a video this morning, or something he had scene online. I couldn't think of anything that might be bothering him, then I started to panic … what if I had said something ?

"_I'm_ gay"

I herd Phil's voice clearly, but I tried to convince myself it was in my mined until I herd the others awkwardly giggling, I looked at Phil, yes he defiantly just said that, I tried to stop myself from fainting. _Dose this mean I have to come out too? I think Phils been gay for longer than me? it is ok for hi … oh what do I do?_

"sorry, I … well I ... I had to tell you and well … well I just sort of slipped it out"

Phil mumbled well I guess he found it just as hard as I would then?

"hey Phil don't worry, I mean its not as if we think differently about you "

Chris' answer made me think I should come out. _It wont be that bad will it? _The phrase '_actions speak louder than words' _slipped into my mined and before I even thought about what I was doing a lent towards Phil, who was sat next to me on the large red sofa seats so that we wear directly facing Chris and PJ, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. I felt the warmth of him blushing under my lips, then I lent back and I couldn't help but give a big smile and then I tried to hide it, looking anxiously at the rest of the group in anticipation of there reactions.

**3****rd**** person:**

"are you..."

PJ trailed of not wanting to sound awkward. Dan looked at Phil worrying that he had given away to much and that Phil would get upset, but to Dan's surprise Phil was beaming at him and Dan couldn't help but smile back. Chris and PJ looked at each other not quite knowing how to react until Chris looked over to see Phil and Dan sharing a look witch held all the love and emotion they both had.

"get a room you to seriously"

Chris said in a mock American girl voice and holding up his hand as thou he was covering his eyes. They all fell apart laughing and smiling.

**Thank you if you have read this so far and if you haven't already please read my comments at the top because it would be nice to feel as thou someone actually reads this rather than me talking to myself XD**


	5. Chapter 5

"so a hole month hey?"

Phil said to Dan raising his eyebrows.

"time flies when your having fun"

Dan said back with a fake wink. Phil walked over to the corner of the room and picked up the camera stand to position it in front of the sofa.

"what are you doing I thought we were going to watch a film."

"yeah but its been a month"

"so..."

Dan raised his eyebrows, not sure what Phil was getting at.

"so... don't you think the phans have noticed that we are acting odd?"

"we are not acting odd"

"Dan you're putting it of now"

"im not putting anything of"

Dan said defensively.

"c'mon Dan we are telling youtube now"

"nooooooooo..."

"Dan I'm not going to make you do anything that you are not ready for but I just think we should tell them?"

Phil said looking at Dan intensely.

"can we at least have a little fun before we tell them?"

"Dan what do you mean"

"well they all ship us so why don't we act like we are going out"

"urm we are going out Dan?"

"well yes but … c'mon it'l be funny"

"ok..."

Phil said reluctantly

Dan and Phil acted all slushy for a few videos but then Phil said he wanted to tell them now so they sat down 3 weeks later to tell the Phans.

"hello"

Phil started the video with his usual wave and Dan rolled his eyes at Phil because he knew that he would have to make this, Phil couldn't stand keeping big secrets like this.

"so today me and Phil have a bit of a confession to make",

"yes we have been keeping something from you"

Phil said looking at Dan out of the corner of his eye disapprovingly.

"i admit to possibly messing with our 'Phan' ordinance a little"

"a little Dan...?"

Phil raised his eyebrows.

"well here is the thing, urm we have been acting a little girly and in love because we wanted to see how you guys would react"

Dan gave a little giggle as he looked down at his laptop and Phil read out a few of the tweets telling them to declare there love.

"so... I don't think anyone is expecting this... arg I cant Phil you say it"

"well you asked us to declare our love so..."

"no one is going to beli ..."

Dan was cut of by Phil's lips and he instantly sank into the kiss. Dan reluctantly puled away knowing this video would be to odd if they kissed for to long. Phil and Dan looked awkwardly at the camera.

"so … me and Phil ..."

Phil drooped his head into his hands. Then he looked up and said,

"it was me who wanted to tell you if it was up to Dan you wouldn't know."

"i geuss those hardcore Internet shippers do have some brain"

Dan and Phil turned of the camera and just sat hugging each other and laughing


	6. Chapter 6

**Phil's POV:**

Dan seemed more happy than ever before, and even thou it was January I already felt like it was spring, it didn't matter that because its London its snowing, it was warm in the flat and the light is bright enough to make up for the lack of sunshine. I looked at my … _boyfriend … _that felt odd still, even after so long. He was just on his laptop but I stopped sweeping up just to look at the back of his head and hear his laugh when he came across a 'Phan' fic or a funny gif. He is so perfect, so incredible. How is it that someone who is not _you _can make _you _more _you _than _you_ have ever been. I am so complete. I almost feel that we are one and now I am perfect to, that because I have him I am incredible.

"hey Phil can you check this new vi..."

Dan stopped talking when he turned around and noticing me looking dreamily like a little girl with my first crush.

"you are perfect"

I just let the words slip out in my unconscious day dream state. Then Dan's raised eyebrows brought me back to conciseness and I noticed what I just said. I looked shyly and mumbled an apology.

**Third person:**

Dan laughed and hugged Phil.

"don't worry, I know its what we all think I'm just soooo perfect..."

Dan said jokingly with a little giggle. Then he kissed Phil's cheek and told him he had to go out and do some shopping. He asked Phil to come but he said he had to edit a video. Dan left the flat and went to a shop to get food. Phil sat at home trying desperately not to get to distracted from his editing but something was taking over every single thought he had.

**Dan's POV:**

the grass crunched under my feet, I took the short cut home because I worried my fingers would freeze of, if I stayed out any longer. I put the key in the door then walked in silently hoping to jump out at Phil. He was probably in his room editing, but as I walked past the door to the living room I sore a glaring light from a laptop. A looked to see the back of Phil's head sat on the sofa and I could just see vaguely what was on the screen of the laptop. Just one word. It made me freeze. And it wasn't because of the cold this time. Just the bold title of an article on wikipedia. _Its probably nothing. _I thought but … how could this be nothing. Phil turned around so I smiled pretending I hadn't seen anything. He slammed shut his laptop and smiled back. I felt dizzy.

"hey Dan you're back quick",

Phil said brightly still with a big smile on his face. I tried as hard as I could to act normal.

"yeah just ... erm to cold to … er stay out … for er very long... I have to … erm I need a shower"

I rushed of and pretended not to hear Phil shouting after me. Why was this such a big deal I mean I am 22 already this isn't a big deal. _Its not a big deal it doesn't mean anything … it was probably just for one of his friends or something_ I repeated this to myself as I lye in my bed but that one word just kept going round and round in my brain making me panic. _**Adoption, adoption, adoption ... **__erg stop it brain stop it, it means nothing. But it was impossible that it meant nothing... I knew Phil wanted a family but … I am only 22 and … we just? But its to soon isn't it? I don't know? How can I ever give Phil what he wants._

**Third person:**

Dan sat worrying and Phil sat thinking about how he was going to tell Dan how he felt. Phil walked into Dan's room and said,

"Dan we need to talk",

Dan began to panic this was it Phil was going to tell Dan about what he had seen...


	7. Chapter 7

"I ... I found something out and … well … I'm going to Norway"

Phil said, his voice shaking as he looked at Dan, clearly not knowing how he was going to react to this.

"what!? Why!?"

Dan looked so shocked that Phil jumped back.

"well … I … I just found out …"

Phil burst into tears .

"Dan … I'm adopted",

"aww Phil I'm so sorry, but your parents are still your parents, y'know its not about your birth relation its … well they raised you"

Dan gently stroked Phil's black hair.

"i know Dan I do, I just never knew it would affect me this much until I found out.

"are you sure you want to go to Norway, Phil?"

"yes, I want to fined them"

Phil nodded his head very confidently and looked at Dan still with tears streaming down his face.

"well then Phil"

Dan said jumping up of the bed and pulling clothes out of his wardrobe.

"pack your bags, you go and see what you can fined out about your mum and dad and I will book train tickets to the airport, tomorrow … are you ok with leaving tomorrow?"

Dan smiled at Phil happily, obviously trying to make him feel better. He started to stuff his clothes into a suit case and picking up his laptop to book tickets.

"urm … yes … um are you … are you coming with me?"

Phil looked at Dan wiping the tears from his eyes. His eyebrows were raised questioningly. Dan stopped packing at looked at Phil. He felt a little let down, all Dan ever wanted was to make Phil happy and he didn't know what he would do if he couldn't help him when Phil was obliviously going to need most support in his life.

"urm … well I just thought … well I don't have to I thought it might be nice but, I totally understand. I mean going to meat … its just a big thing I thought you might want .., m … m … me with you?"

Dan stuttered feeling really deflated that he wasn't going with Phil. How long would Phil even be going?

"oh thank god I was so worried that you weren't going to come with me."

Phil relaxed on Dan's bed feeling much more comfortable now he knew he wasn't going alone.

" I am Phil, do you really think I would let the love of my life go on a potentially life changing holiday, with might I add lots of grate room for being pathetically romantic, all on his own?

Phil giggled then stood up and entwined his arms around Dan's neck. Phil brushed his lips softly over Dan's. Dan put his arms round Phils waist and they stood for an eternal moment completely lost in a sea of love. Phil woke up he was looking into Dan's chocolate eyes he thought he could never feel more in love but when Dan smiled it engulfed him his heart spluttered and his mined raced. Nothing in the world could feel better than this.

"i would never adopt, I think if I had a child it would have to be mine, or yours, what do they call that? Y'know when they have a gay couple but one of them has a kid with one of there female friends, because they don't want to adopt?"

Dan's words shocked Phil from his dreamy state. He blinked and looked at Dan.

**Phil's POV:**

I tried not to show that the idea of having a son or daughter that was mine or Dan's had seemed like a dream that I could never have. But what Dan had just said gave him a spark of hope, a dream for the future, I hopped it was not the to distant future.


	8. Chapter 8

**Phil's POV:**

I closed my eyes in the freezing cold hotel room, Dan still sat in the main room on the laptop looking up my long lost family. I didn't know how I felt, one one hand I was exited this was an adventure and a cultural experience that might change who I am, but on the other hand that fear that they wont want me, that they are horrible people or … and then the feeling under all of this, the deep anger _why would my parents not tell me? _And the I tried not to let it get to me but me and Dan had found out that my parents had other kids, _they just weren't ready for me so they got rid of me then later on they decided to have more kids. _but no matter what I told myself I still felt angry. I didn't even know what else I felt but all I knew was a whirl pool of emotion was overtaking my brain.

"I want to go home",

as yet I wasn't sure if a said that to myself or to Dan but Dan put the laptop down on the sofa and walked round and into the bedroom. Dan lightly nudged me over to the other side of the bed and I obligingly shuffled over, he sat down next to me and put is arm around my solders. I felt much warmer and it didn't matter that I wasn't sure if the sudden warmth was from Dan or my blushing. He gently ran his fingers through my fringe he started to talk in I hushed voice, only some of what he said actual went in, the rest of it was just soothing sounds.

"whatever happens remember this Phillip Lester, I am always going to be by your side because I am completely in love with you."

I looked up at Dan and just got lost in the passion I could see in his eyes,

"i love you t...",

I was cut of by Dan's lips, but they weren't pressing against mine they were resting gently and lovingly Dan slowly and so reluctantly pulled away. I had to study Dan's face it was something new, I could see a trace of something new an emotional bold and passionate yet nervous, more than nervous I studied his features, that's what it was real fear Dan was fearful _why?_then he started gently shaking as he opened his moth to speak he took at deep breath in but then a flicker of something, impressment, flew across his face he awkwardly breathed out and put his head down again.

**The next day:**

I was still wondering what Dan was going to say last night, I hadn't asked him because he had instantly shut him self of and pretended he had gone to sleep. I was out in town today we were on the first day of our adventure to fined my parents but so far we had been to a local library and when they had nothing we had just gone to have coffee. I pretended to have to fined a toilet and creped of on my own for a minuet leaving Dan in the coffee shop.

**Dan's POV:**

I sat in the coffee shop alone Phil had gone to fined a toilet or something, I think he actually just needed space but I wasn't going to question him he was having a hard enough time. I had so much to think about just sitting by myself so I wasn't board but after about half an hour I started to worry. I picked up my bag and pulled out my iphone and put in Phil's number witch I knew of by heart.

"hello",

Phil's voice came through my phone much loader than I expected and I jumped back.

"hi Phil",

"oh hey Dan, yeah sorry I took so long I urm well I... can you come outside please"

"um yeah sure wear are you?"

"Dan do you know the dock, you know we went there to get that ferry to the other library"

"yeah shall I meat you there Phil?",

I was confused but I guessed Phil was probably lost and didn't want to admit to it.

"uh yeah please love",

even now my heart jumped a little when Phil said 'love'

"'k bye see you in a mo"

"bye"

I left the coffee shop, damn I had forgotten how cold it was, I stuffed my hands into my pockets as deep as I could. I walked as fast as I could to keep up my temperature and because I was slightly worried about Phil. Eventually I arrived at the dock and I sore Phil.

"Dan!"

Phil smiled brightly at me making me feel warm again.

"hey love"

I said reaching out and putting my arm around Phil and rubbing his shoulder,he giggled and skipped forward making me stretch out my arm then he was just pulling me by my hand, we reached a small but cute boat that Phil jumped into then helped me up. I opened my moth to ask why we were on a boat but he cut me of with a sweet kiss and a man pushed our boat out and I could hear a quiet engine splutter into life. Phil pulled back and smiled at me.

"what's all this for Phil?"

I asked raising my eyebrows and smiling at my boyfriend.

"you will see"

"ok"

we sat on the boat enjoying the river and feeling warm despite the cold, we slowly aproched the bridge and I gasped loudly as I sore a large banner hanging from it that said 'will you marry me Dan?' in large green text. I looked at Phil who was now beaming at me down on one knee holding out a box. The ring was simple just a gold band, on the inside of the ring was engraved 'Phan' a giggled slightly as this.

"Yes Phil, yes, I love you"

Phil stood up and we stood on the bout in each others arms slowly drifting under the bridge, it was the most perfect moment of my life and I drifted into another wave of complete and utter happiness, knowing I no longer had to worry about my future because whatever happened I would have Phil.


	9. Chapter 9

**Phil's POV:**

the heat of Dan's arms and his repeated telling me that I would always have him just to stop myself from pulling my own hair own screening and crying. _Why do you care? _It wasn't like they were my family but I had hoped to get paste the door step at leased. The worst part is it wasn't them, it was me I … he opened the door and I just … I just ran away! I have ruined my own life and I am only still on this earth because of Dan. Everything feels so far away because I'm of in my own world, except Dan because he understands.

**Dan's POV:**

Phil, pain and I cant help, the rush of blurry tears and I was useless because all I could do was tell him he had me. My lips brushed his tear streaked face and the heat of anger and pain burned beneath his skin boiling my kiss and leaving only the tears that had rested there before. The flight and being at home seemed to just happened and nether me or Phil had any recollection of anything but Phil's disappointment and the beautiful proposal. Life slowly returned to normal witch was a shock given how suddenly life had snapped out of reality. How did all of this happen in 2 days?

**Third person:**

Dan stroked Phil's cheek noticing the softness that had come from the many tears that had pooled over Phil's eyes and down his face. But Phil had stopped crying and they had sat down to watch a film. Dan chucked popcorn all over the sofa as the climax of the horror film they were watching was unfolding and suddenly Phil, who hadn't been watching because he was of in a world of his own said,

"Dan you know you said about that thing couples do... you know have a baby with a female friend so that they don't adopt but... well who do you think would be the mother of our child?"

"Phil...WHAT THE HELL"

"oh um sorry Dan"

"i don't... I'm not sure Phil"

"do … what do you want a child Phil?"

Dan raised his eyebrows and Phil battled with himself with how to answer he decided he should just tell the truth.

"yes Dan but … you ..."

"Phil I love you but I'm not..."


	10. Chapter 10

Dan closed his eyes, Phil was already asleep but Dan had to much to think about. He slid out of the bed and put on Phil's pyjamas witch were the closest item of clothing to him at the time. Dan tiptoed silently out of the bedroom and slipped his laptop off the breakfast bar.

**Dan's POV:**

I sat down on the sofa with my laptop and opened G-mail. I started to type not relay sure what I was going to write or even if I wanted to write it. I decided to simply write … "meet me at the coffee shop at 12 if you can, its important".

**Phil's POV:**

I rolled over to see Dan, but Dan had gone. It was odd for him to be up before me so I checked the time 12:30 it was late but still not time for Dan to be up. It hit me, what we had be talking about the night before … he was probably in his own bed. I jumped out of bed and reached for my pyjamas . I had to get dressed because I couldn't fined my pjs anywhere. I bolted up to Dan's room still with only one of my sleeves on my arms, wriggling about in it trying to get it on as fast as I could and calling out for Dan. I swung open his door but his duvet lay on a heap on the floor and his bed striped of all bedding, exactly the way it was when we decided he should move into my room. _He must be downstairs. _I shut his door and ran downstairs still calling out for him. I walked into the living room to see Dan's open laptop on the sofa.

"Dan, Daaaaan"

I called out but I couldn't hear him. I looked down at his laptop hoping whatever was on it would give me a clue as to what had happened. _G-mail? _I know that its not rite to look at his emails but I had to know what was going on. I clicked on the latest one that had been sent, it was to Chloe his old best friend from high school. I had already known they had got back in touch and I know its wrong but I part of me relay wanted to know what they had been talking about.

"meet me at the coffee shop at 12 if you can, its important",

I read the first email aloud to myself then I looked at what she had written back.

"is this to do with Phil?"

"yes and please meet me it … I need to talk"

"we already talk about all your little relationship problems on line why cant we do that",

my stomach twisted as I read that email from Chloe, I closed the lid and walked into the kitchen, I didn't want to know any more it was Dan's business who he told not mine. But I hated it so much. Why would he talk about me to Chloe._ Well at least I know were he is. _I thought but I still didn't know when he would be back. 1 o'clock past then 2 o'clock then finally at 4:25 I herd the door click Dan walked in with Carrie. _Why was he with Carrie?_

"Phiiiiiiiil..."

Dan called out into the apartment and I stepped out from the kitchen and walked into the hallway, to see Carrie grinning from ear to ear, with her frizzy hair moving, franticly swooshing from side to side as she moved her head.

"Dan were the hell have you been?"

I demanded glaring at him. Dan looked a bit pale and worried then he walked into the living room and sat down gesturing that I should do the same so me and Carrie walked in and sat on the sofa.

"Dan what exactly is going on"

I was so worried that I started to shake.

**Third person:**

"Phil, this morning I woke up and I thought about what we talked about and I decided you are right, I do want to have a child, so I went to meet up with Chloe, you know my old friend from high school"

Dan paused to let Phil nod showing that he understood what Dan had said so far.

"so I spoke to her about my plans and I said that I needed a mother and well, I didn't exactly ask her but she took it the wrong way, and well um Carrie sore me and she sat down with us but I think oh yes then that's when Chloe stormed of and I explained all that to Carrie and well..."

Dan trailed of so Carrie interrupted, she spoke tentatively not wanting to stop Dan from speaking but Dan was grateful for the help, he had started to panic and speak fast. Phil just sat and took everything in still not sure quite what was happening.

"so when I herd what Dan wanted I … well its just so lovely that you to want a baby and well, I want to... I want to help in anyway I can"

Carrie finished then looked at Dan for some kind of conformation that she had said the write thing, Dan polity nodded back at Carrie.

"so are you saying that you want to be the mother of me and Dan's child?"

Phil raised his eyebrows, he wasn't sure how he was meant to react to this.

Carrie and Dan nodded back at Phil and he suddenly realised that all of this was now completely up to him, so with a shaking voice he said,

"so what do we do next..."

"well I went to the doctors to ask about this and they have given me all of this paper work"

Dan reached into a plastic bag that was resting on the arm of the chair he was sat In and pulled out 4 text book sized pads of paper all printed in tiny black writing and coved in little dotted lines for signatures. The next week was spent with Carrie, Alex, Dan and Phil and all of there parents signing things and having millions of tests. So many people came into the flat every day to look over everything and make sure it was all child safe. So far it was all ok and it seemed like all plans could go ahead. They had been told that the day before carries due date the flat had to be inspected again and all the tests and interviews and everything had to be put together with birth certificates and signatures from every single member of every family. Everyone was so tense the slightest thing put people over the edge and there were always at least 5 people in the flat to wined each other up and cause another mental brake down. But everyone knew that this was nothing compared to how difficult and amazing it would be for Dan and Phil to have a child.

**Carrie's POV:**

Dan and Phil told me they wanted me to stay in the baby's life despite the fact that by law the baby would be a Howell- lester not a fletcher. The thought of having I kid … I felt dizzy when I tried to see into the future of my child, my baby. We had all decided that we wanted the child to be conceived and born completely naturally. But this left a decision that had to be made. Who would be the father? It would require so much trust on the part of who ever wasn't going to be the father. And it was hard to think of aether of my friends in that way. It was going to be so hard but the benefit of creating a family … even if the kid would have a mother and 3 fathers. Alex had not said much on this matter, I didn't think he minded it was a grate thing that I was going but he would have to accept that I would have a child with someone else. I hoped that Alex would accept his part in my baby's life.

**10 years later-Darcy's POV:**

I had never contemplated that my family was anything but normal. I grew up with the fact that I lived in a flat in London with Dan and Phil who were my dads I suppose. Well I called them both dad but I called Alex dad to I often went to stay with Carrie and Alex I suppose now that I think of it having 3 people I called dad was odd. And as I got older it seemed even more odd that I didn't even know witch one of them was my 'real' dad. So one day when Dan was walking me home from school I asked him.

"Dad, witch, are you my dad or is it Phil or, or is it Alex?"

"Darcy it doesn't matter, I can tell you, if that's what you want, but remember it doesn't make a difference to who you are. All of us love you and your family doesn't have to be normal to be happy"

Dan smiled lovingly at me and I walked with him for I wile thinking about what he had said and I decided that I wanted to know.

"no, I think I do want to know"

"well we decided it would be best if I was your dad"

"why"

Dan giggled then he looked down at his beautiful baby girl, she had brown hair and brown eyes like him but she had carries big smile and a heart shaped face with amazing ringlet hair.

"well we couldn't decide then it came down to your eyes"

"i don't understand?"

I looked at Dan who was looking brilliantly happy.

"well me and Carrie both have good eyes but Phil has glasses"

"so Carrie is my real mum"

I asked wondering why I had never asked before.

"yes"

"but what about Alex?"

"well me and Phil decided to have a baby but Phil was adopted so he didn't want to adopt, he doesn't like it, so we decided to have a baby naturally and we chose Carrie to be the mummy and then we decided I would be the dad and Alex didn't mined because it doesn't matter that me and Carrie aunt in love because we are friends and I love Phil and she loves Alex and we are all happy that you are in the world."

I fell silent again what dad was saying made scents and I'm happy with my life like this. When we got home Alex and Carrie were round as they often were, I ran over and hugged Phil before jumping up on to Carries lap she kissed me on the forehead then Dan came in with tea for everyone. Life seemed so blissfully perfect now that I had all the answers.


End file.
